“I Am Whole” Part I


Photo by Amardeep Kumar©

Rev. Sudha Mehta©

Psalm 103: 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and do not forget all His kind deeds— 3 He who forgives all your iniquities, and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit, and crowns you with loving devotion and compassion, 5 who satisfies you with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.(BLB)

The year was 2003. My daughter’s church in South Carolina was the place. My friend and I had gone to attend a conference on Spiritual Warfare. The subject of back surgery was on my mind, but not on my agenda. The decision had been made to set the date for surgery upon return. Floating bone fragments in my neck, bulging disc in the middle back and a herniated disc in lower back.

Peter had asked me to consider getting all three done at the same time, my reply, “Easy for you to say!”

The doctor said “You can’t lift more than ten pounds.”

“Don’t drive more than forty-five minutes, take a ten minute break to get out and stretch before you go further.”

Don’t move this way, don’t turn that way, don’t bend, sit on a kitchen chair not on the couch and other restrictions in movement had become the norm.

While  at the conference, in the morning session on Friday, as the pastor was teaching, I heard the Lord say, “You are not to leave until the Pastor has laid hands you and prayed. I intend to do reconstructive surgery today.” I took a hold of this word, and told Him that I would do as He said. The Pastor’s assistant was close by so as soon as I could I spoke with her and she relayed the message to the Pastor. At  lunch the Pastor approached me and agreed to pray over me with his team after the afternoon session.

He and his wife were prayer leaders. Three questions were asked of me before they prayed.

1: “How did it happen?” I had no problem answering that one.

2. “Have you forgiven the person who caused the injury.” The answer was a “YES.”

3. “Have you gloried in your injury?” . . . HUH?! In hind sight to this day, when I think of this, I do not know what was meant by the question. At the time however, the Holy Spirit immediately revealed to me what He was looking for. A confession and repentance. I knew what for.

For years I had used the injury to my advantage without even being aware of it. Some examples:

At the grocery store checkout: “Please don’t put too much in the bag, I can’t lift it, I have a baaaaad back.”

At home,”Honey can you empty the car, I can’t lift the bags.”

“Honey, will you pull these weeds, I can’t bend.”

“Honey, I could really use a nice massage for my back.”

“I can’t take that down from the shelf, my back hurts.”

In other words, I had others do the work while I played princess.


Photo by Unsplash

Even my clients would see me gently ease into a chair and would ask. “Are you okay?” and I would reply, “Oh, it’s just my baaaad back.” We would spend the next few minutes discussing my bad back, and then I would very nobly say, “Enough about me, how are you doing?” Nice way to get attention! Right?!

I have to admit, I am positively embarrassed telling you this! I am ashamed of myself.

But, that is exactly what the Holy Spirit brought to mind at the moment when I was asked, “Have you gloried in it?”

Immediately I confessed, repented and promised the Lord I would never do it again. The Pastor graciously received my answer, and then they all prayed. By faith, I received and declared myself healed, even though I felt nothing in the moment.

Right after the prayer, my friend and I were ready to leave, and she offered to carry my bags of purchases we had made at the bookstore. Without a second thought I said, “No, it stops right now. I am healed and will carry my own bags.” They weighed much more that the ten pounds per bag I was allowed to carry, but I put my faith into action and walked with them to the car.

That night we went to bed a little early for we had to be back at the conference early in the morning. She retired to her bedroom and I mine. As I lay my head on the flat pillow I used, I felt a sharp pain in the front on my neck. The pain stretched to a few inches and was intense enough that I had to get out of bed and pace around the bedroom. I didn’t want to disturb my friend, so in a bit of time I prayed and said “Lord I will use a thicker pillow to elevate my head.” This was something I could never do before due to frequent severe migraines. Trusting in the healing, I lay down. I slept deeply (also not my norm) and woke the next morning totally rested. When I shared with my friend the event of the night before, she was astonished and delighted. She told me when the surgeon does surgery on the neck vertebrae the incision is made in the throat area exactly where I had the pain. I checked it out and found it to be true. The very thought that the finger of God had touched me was very exciting!

I had no pain and now I tried to do different things like bending in different positions, touching my toes, stretching my arms up, reaching and stretching as I had not been able to do for years. No pain, no problem. After years of pain and discomfort, I was free! Free to move, bend, jump, run, lift my arms and praise Him.

thank you text on black and brown board
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
woman standing on mountain while raising her hands
Photo by Adina Lavinia Moldovan on Pexels.com

That day I rejoiced and gave testimony at the conference. Fifteen years later, my back is still fine. For years I had a business that required me to carry loads of stock, lift shelves, tables, big boxes, and I had no problems. I have had the joy of lifting my grandsons even when they have been 5, 6 or 7 years old. A cat-scan showed totally clear vertebrae, no sign of any injury whatsoever!

Bonus: As the Lord healed my back, He not only healed the three points that required surgery, he also healed the TMJ issues I had. Gone also were the heavy duty allergies I suffered nine months out of the year. Gone were the migraines. I used visit the chiropractor two to three times a week, that completely stopped. I no longer get vertigo, and don’t need anti-nausea medication for air or other travel.

Since this healing I have come to realize that I had walked away from what I had learned about healing and God’s will for a long time. I used to walk in healing, and miracles were a part of life in Christ from the beginning, but somehow, somewhere, little by little I lost that in my training, and bought into the lie of infirmity. I ended up in a really sad place physically. At the ripe young age of fifty three I became trapped in various ailments that kept me home-bound on many days. None of this had to be at all!

However, He loved me enough to give a wake-up call, and thankfully I was ready.

I am back walking in faith and healing. For many years this has been a part of my teaching as well. My family and I have seen so many miracles we have lost count. We expect miracles as an everyday thing, and they are.

I am not being prideful, it simply is the life God offers to all of us.

Luke 9:2 And He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. (BSB)

I will say more on this subject in my next post.

No Arrows?! Only a Sword?!

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Jars of Clay

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