She Makes Me Mad!
Rev. Sudha Mehta©
I told you about A-Man and Wo-Man in the last post.
In counseling I have dealt with not just married couples, but with all manner of situations and relationships that deal with anger/ rage/ hatred/ bitterness/ malice and so on. The result is always brokenness/ pain and shattered lives on the other side. Unhappy people make people unhappy. No one wins, everyone loses.
In this post I would like to talk about “Rage.” Anger so hot it that causes A-Man to lose self-control and wound others. In the situation I presented, Wo-Man was a victim of A-Man’s rage. However rage is not limited to a man or a marriage. The Bible has much to say about a hot and ill-controlled temper.
Proverbs 15: 18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger calms dispute.(BSB)
Proverbs 16: 32 He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city.(BSB)
It isn’t just about a hand lifted to hurt someone physically, words spoken in anger cut and slice the spirit. No signs are visible but the damage to the spirit is undeniable. A broken and crushed spirit is not easy to repair.
Proverbs 18: 14 The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but who can survive a broken spirit?(BSB)
I have seen people so crushed under the weight of a heavy and wounded spirit they have lost the will to live.
Some of my clients have attempted suicide even though they carry no physical bruising as evidence of abuse. A person can maintain a good facade, a married couple can look good, an employee can smile and carry on, a teenager may put on a brave face, but unkind, insulting words of hatred, rage, anger strip hope from the person at whom they are directed.
You have heard the cliche’ “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The statement is a terrible lie! Today in the US parents and teachers are becoming very aware about the issue of bullying in schools. That is a good thing, but the issue is much bigger than bullying, at the core lies the rottenness of the heart.
Jesus said in:
Matthew 15: 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander. 20 These are what defile a man, but eating with unwashed hands does not defile him.”(BSB)
A man who does not examine himself and look to correct his behavior has much to lose. In coming posts I will write more about hatred, bitterness and an unforgiving spirit, but know that it all stems from one source: PRIDE!
Many a time I have heard statements like: “She makes me so angry, I can’t help myself!”
One man sat in my office with his arms folded in anger and stated just exactly that while his wife pleaded her case with tears. This man could not see that rage was his problem and pride was the source. He had already tried to run her off the road with his car, causing her car to crash. In his rage he was blinded to the fact that he almost ended up in prison for attempted murder, or that it would have been murder if he had succeeded in his attack. The only reason he sat in my office was that she loved him so much that she did not cooperate with the courts. At another time he choked her nearly to death. She had carried many a bruise, shed many a tear, yet nothing she did could please him.
angry-photo by peterzeigler
Another man in his rage hit his wife so hard he injured her back in three places. When his wife was eight months pregnant with their third child, he became so enraged one day that he dragged her by her hair down a flight of steps and then kicked her in the stomach. By God’s grace the child in her womb did not die. When he was angry, which was very often, he punched whoever was in his way. Wife, children . . . wall . . . whatever! The saddest part: This man was a Minister on staff at a local church! He put on a great face, while she hid behind makeup and a fake smile. At church he directed music and led worship. His mouth gave praises to God yet his heart was black as dirt. Apparently he did not remember that the Word of God says:
Galatians 6: 7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. Whatever a man sows, he will reap in return.(BSB)
A third man of whom I know has children that hide when he gets home. He is always late coming home after work for he chooses to stop at the local bar and have a few drinks. Drinks of the alcoholic kind do not agree with this man. Liquor has robbed him of more than just a paycheck, it has robbed him of his family. His children do not greet him at the door with open arms, they hide fearing his wrath. Mama sees to it that they are hidden for their own safety. She would rather bear the brunt of his rage herself.
I am sure you know of someone who has issues with anger.
Perhaps it is you. The question is, do you want help? It cannot feel very good to be living with such rage inside, rage that forever feels like a volcano that erupts with little notice or provocation. Do you even like yourself being this way?
hell-fire-background-free- Photo by textures4photoshop
You may say, “I can’t help it. I just am this way!” or “She makes me angry!” Truth is no one can make you angry, you make that choice. No one forces on you the emotion of anger, God Himself holds you alone accountable for your behavior!
You do realize that you . . . like the rest of us will give account for your behavior . . . right?!
When it comes time to give account, where will you stand? There is no hiding from God!
Psalm 139: 7 Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol (hell), You are there.(BSB)
God sees you even in hell -istockphoto
Dear friend, you cannot run or hide from God. What you do in the privacy of your home or your bedroom is not hidden from God. Be aware that every thought of yours is known to the Omniscient God.
Psalm 139: 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; You understand my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down; You are aware of all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, O LORD.(BSB)
Let it be known that God does not look kindly upon one who oppresses the weak. Whether it is a woman, a child or an elder.
Photo from Pexels
Let it be known that God is not interested in your opinion of what is right, He has already told you what is right in His Word. A righteous man (and woman) walks according to His Word, not man’s opinion.
Do you need it yet to be clearer?
Matthew 12: 36 But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”(BSB)
Every careless word!! How many careless words can be spoken in every day? I find myself being cautious when I speak lest I offend. I ask God to create in me a clean heart and help me guard my words. Acts or careless words that wound, cut and destroy are sin in God’s mind.
Proverbs 29: 22 An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. 23 A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.(BSB)
Matthew 23: 12 For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.(BSB)
1 Peter 5: Yes, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.(AKJV)
Ecclesiastes: 7: 9 Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry: for anger rests in the bosom of fools.(AKJV)
None of the verses given in my posts are ones I made up. You should check them out in your Bible. It says the same thing.
Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.(BSB)
If you would accept it, what you need is forgiveness! His forgiveness is yours for the asking if you are sincere. He is not fooled, He knows your heart, yet He longs for you to see His love for you.
Jesus saves Photo from God is real
So, friend, what keep you form asking?
The prayer is simple: “Dear Lord Jesus, I am tired of living the way I have been.
I repent of all wrong I have done and ask You to forgive me. I recognize that You loved me so much that You gave Your life for me on the cross.
I receive You as my Savior and my Lord, please take me as Your child, and help me to be different. Make me new, give me a new heart. Thank You Lord! Amen.”
If you mean it as you pray it, trust He has heard it, and you will be made new from the inside out. And, do not be afraid to reach out to a counselor (like myself) where you live. God will guide you.
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