I Doubt . . .
Rev. Sudha Mehta©
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John 1: 9 The true Light who gives light to every man was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him. 11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. (BSB)
Speaking of Jesus, Paul writes:
Colossians 1: 16 For in Him all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.(BSB)
I think most of you would agree, if you have any idea about God our Creator, that He can do anything. Perhaps you, like me, would not question that He is Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent.
In general, I think our struggle as humans ends up being not with His ability, but His willingness, and desire to engage with us lowly human beings.
You may not doubt that He made the heavens and the earth . . .
Or that He is a great and mighty God . . .
And that nothing is too difficult for Him . . . !!
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Yet depending on your situation you may come up with lot of doubts.
Over the years I have seen and heard just about every reason as to why people do not engage with God even though He has invited them many times to do so. They doubt Him, based not on fact but feeling.
If I ask why, the reasons are myriad:
I doubt He cares about me enough to take care of me in what seems to be my insurmountable storm. My storm appears to Him nothing more than a whiff, and I just a straw flying in the wind.
I doubt He has the time, since He is busy creating worlds. and taking care of the Universe.
I doubt because there are 7 billion people on this earth, and other people have bigger problems than me. He doesn’t have time for me.
I doubt I matter to Him, since I have so little to offer. He doesn’t bother me and I don’t bother Him.
I doubt since my few riches amount to nothing even by worldly standards and I can do little for Him.
I doubt that all my riches/position/ fame in the world impress Him enough to notice me.
I doubt He cares for me because I was born handicapped and am crippled. He made me that way. I can’t bring him anything!
I doubt since I am sickly and lack strength cannot accomplish much even in terms of daily duties, chores, job, or anything else. What would He want with me?
I doubt since I am filled with sorrow over a broken life, my own and my children’s. I would be embarrassed before Him . . .
I doubt since I have tried to drown my sorrows in the depths of a bottle from the local liquor store purchased with the last bit of earnings. I promised my wife I would not do so, but I did! I am no good to Him!
I doubt because I have no money to give my wife to feed the mouths that I helped create. I lost my job, yet again. I am a failure . . .
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I doubt for I can’t seem to do without the joint, the pill or the shot I give myself to get my fix . . . man, I can’t function without that.
I doubt because I owe money to the dealer, and I have none, but I must get my fix, so I will steal. I have even sold my body at times for sex just to buy one fix! I hate myself for everything, but I can’t break free!
I doubt because I promise myself I will not use or steal again, but the night gets so long, so lonely in the vacant buildings, I shiver and shake for I can’t stand the anxiety, I am cold, but I look for places to hide where no one can find me, dirty bathroom stalls, vacant broken down buildings work well to hide me in the night, then again, the day is as the night. I must use again! I wish I were dead!!
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I doubt because I got paid today, and I gambled the money away. How do I face my wife who made me promise I would bring home the check before it lose it all at the bar? I promised, “No bar!” So I gambled instead!
I doubt, because she cries, I hate it when she cries, it makes me angry. The children hide when they see me in a rage. I hear them cry!
I doubt for I see the black eye on her face in the morning, I see the broken leg of a chair, I must have tossed it. The children still steer clear of me. . .
I doubt as I get ready for work silently, the man in the cracked mirror is not me. I want to be clean, I do not know this man! I will not drink or gamble again, maybe!
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I doubt since my husband didn’t come home last night. I know he was at the bar and then the brothel. I went looking this morning with my 10 yr old son, and found him lying on the sidewalk, passed out.
I doubt for my family doesn’t want to see me again. I have broken their hearts one too many times.
I doubt for the old man next door touched me when I was just a child. He made me feel things I ought not to have felt. There was no one I could tell. I felt like I was bad! Really bad!! But I didn’t know what to do, he was big, and I . . . so little! Daddy I needed you to protect me, mommy please don’t hate me. He said if I told, he would hurt you. I didn’t want him to hurt you.
I doubt for I was raped when mommy was out grocery shopping. I let him in for he is a family friend. We call him uncle. What do I tell mommy and daddy?
I doubt because I do not deserve His forgiveness. I have done things I can not speak of, Horrible things . . . things for which I deserve to be punished.
I doubt for we never learned about Him, who is this God?!
I doubt for when my little sister was sick, I prayed asking that she be made well, and nothing happened. She died . . .
I doubt because I loved my dog so much. He was my best friend. He got hit by a car . . . stupid dog, why did he have to run out the gate to chase a squirrel? I cried a lot! I will never see him again.
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You may have any one of these reasons or any other that you alone can come up with.
You may even say:
I doubt God is real at all! You may say:
I have all the money I need. My mirror loves me. I am tall, I am so well built, I am handsome, girls flock to me. If God did create me, I am surely His gift to this world!
I am lovely to look at, my mirror loves me too, my curves are so inviting. Men gather round me at parties. I can have any one I want!
I will look for God if I need, but really, I can take care of myself.
Maybe when I am old! Before I die!! No one knows if there is a heaven or a hell anyway!
For now, I like having my head in the sand and pretending He doesn’t see me!
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Life is too much fun right now . . .
I am young, I have a bright future . . .
I want to travel the world . . .
I want to get married, have a family . . .
I want to have a great career and make lots of money. . .
I want to accomplish so much . . .
I just want to party, live carefree and have fun . . .
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All of these reasons are valid to the person who holds them! But are they reasonable?!
That, my friend is a question I will let you ponder for a bit! I will return in my next post with His response to your reasons/arguments/excuses!
Stay with me . . . won’t you?!
Forgiveness Part I Two Unidentified Women
Forgiveness Part II- Vengeance
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